Alms for the Poor?

I was notified by Val at the place I 'retired' from that they had collected a box full of newspapers. Most people pass up the free paper at the hotel in favor of electronic media. I use the newspapers throughout the winter for lighting fires in our wood stove.

I came in bearing three half-bushel baskets and set them on the floor while I talked to my good friend Val. She's a great asset for the company with her sanguine personality. I found my visit to be uplifting and after some catching up the phone rang. That was my cue to go and collect the papers which were in a plastic tote just outside the breakfast room.

Then a mischievous idea entered my head when I noticed the breakfast attendant cleaning the breakfast room. I was disheveled with whiskers, hair sticking out from my baseball cap and my jeans were fashionably full of holes, good for summer wear with the ventilation. I approached the girl and asked "Could you spare a few bucks," as I held out one of the baskets. The girl was aghast, her jaw dropped and incredulity beamed from her eyes. She was speechless!

"Oh, I'm sorry, please allow me to introduce myself. I'm Toivo and I'm soliciting funds for the OAW. Would you care to contribute five dollars?" No response but her face said, 'who is this guy! What the hell is the OAW!'

"You see, I represent the OAW which is the Organization of American Winos."

She was even more shocked and I had to tell her, "just kidding."

You had such a serious look. I thought you were really from the 'OAW.' We both had a good laugh.

When I got home I thought , 'I really looked the part.'